Superlatives

I spent a day at a strip club earning money.

I didn't spend any money there, either.

I met the Denver Fire Chief, but he wanted some of that money.

He didn't get any of it.

I cut both legs while pumping up a tire.

I had a latex shower after pumping that tire.

I was stupid enough to try it again.

Damn Stan.

I saw a mountain lion cross the interstate.

I found a new way to lose my keys.

I saw two young antelope lead the herd.

I pretended to be deaf to a homeless man.

He called me a bad name.

I descended down Shalona Hill faster on the singlespeed mountain bike than I ever did on my geared road bike.

I met the man who made Pete Townshend's guitar.

I wonder if he knows he broke it?

I forgot to pack clean underwear.

I didn't wear underwear for a day while wearing lowriders.

I apparently said "yes" to crack.

I took $10 to $1 pint night and went home penniless.

I took $10 to $1 pint night and went home senseless.

I decided to vacuum the carpet.

I didn't brag about it either. (well err......, ahh..... guess I can't claim that any more)

I drank a shot of tequila.

I forgot what kind it was.

I was happy when I got yelled at by the owner of Grumpy's.

I was grumpy when I ran into someone who was too happy.

I was happy that I was grumpy when I ran into someone who was too happy.

I turned 40.

At least I think I did.

What the hell was this about, again?